


Life and Death, Sex and Marriage

by 221A_brina



Series: Ventriloquism Tango [3]
Category: Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries
Genre: Didn't know we missed this, Gen, Not enough fodder for major riffs, Short fic – small tags, What wound up on the cutting room floor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 02:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13044834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/221A_brina/pseuds/221A_brina
Summary: Unbeknownst to the general viewing public, a small bit from the scene towards the end of "Cocaine Blues" (S1E1) wound up in the cutting room floor. This bit happened when Lydia came to the sauna to deal with Sasha De Lisse and his 'floozy.'





	Life and Death, Sex and Marriage

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place within the events of S1E1 - "Cocaine Blues."

Ventriloquism Tango Vol. 3

 

**Life and Death, Sex and Marriage**

"Why did you do it?" she asked. Sadness tinged her face as she sat down on the bench looking at her – friend? acquaintance? In light of these new revelations, Phryne Fisher was uncertain as to her relationship with Lydia Andrews. Disappointment, betrayal, and a plethora of emotions raced through her head.

"Not all of us did so well out of the war, Phryne." Lydia spoke boldly, confidently. The shrinking violet and fainting flower of the past several days had disappeared behind a wall of ice and steel. 

"You inherited a title, but my family lost everything. And then I met **John** , and he was wealthy and charming." Her eyes glazed momentarily before she continued. "Far too charming, and in the end a **hopeless** businessman and an **utter** embarrassment," she spat out, contempt and venom coating every word. "I rescued us from bankruptcy and disgrace." Anger continued to fuel her scathing diatribe. "And I built an empire," her face daring anyone to naysay her seedy accomplishments. "All I wanted was my own life back." She shook her head. "But John wouldn't let me have it."

Lydia stared down the woman on the bench, eyes locked, as she continued her acrimonious response, unblinking, daring Phryne to interrupt. "Judge me if you like, but I saved myself." Pride flared in her eyes, a bold confidence radiating off her in waves.

Phryne looked up at the woman she once knew. Any empathy she once felt for Lydia swiftly left; pooling and circling the drain like so much detritus flushed away, escaping into a sea of uncharted waters. She paused momentarily, preparing her next words. "Do you miss him? John?"

Without remorse, or missing a beat, Lydia replied, "Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life."

Phryne chuffed at the cheek of her answer and countered with, "Maybe there is life after death." The irony of her words in her current predicament not lost on her.

Lydia snorted; derision dripping off every word. "Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage. John saw to that with all his philandering."

Phryne, well past the point of pity for this woman she no longer knew, responded with utter disgust. "What a shame it took a life of crime for you to find your strength, Lydia."

"Haven't you become a dreary crusader," Lydia condescended. "I'm sure your demise will fix that. Strip them," she said as she turned to her lackeys, and brusquely exited the room, her heels echoing on the tiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Below are the original quotes that were used that inspired this fic, who said them, & any other pertinent info. 
> 
> **Clue (Film - 1983)**  
>  Lesley Ann Warren as Miss Scarlet, Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White 
> 
> Miss Scarlet: Do you miss him?  
> Mrs. White: Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life. 
> 
> Miss Scarlet: Maybe there is life after death.  
> Mrs. White: Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage.


End file.
